:: Tensai Shoujo ::

:: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 ::

Yay, RotK got 11 Oscar Noms!! :D

Best Picture
Directing
Writing - Screenplay - Adaptation
Makeup
Music - Original Score
Music - Original Song
Art Direction
Costume Design
Sound Mixing
Visual Effects
Film Editing

Just thought I'd let everyone know. Oscars are on Feb 29th this year, let's cross our fingers :)
:: Jessi 1/27/2004 08:17:00 AM [+] ::
...

Holy Crap

I'm not going to be all like "oh, I'm so sorry for neglecting you my little bloggy-blog boo hoo cry me a river." Yeah, I didn't update for the longest time in a long time. I've been tired and busy with school. The tired thing is a bit alarming, however. I've been talking with some peeps of mine, and it seems that within our group, there are a lot of us who just find ourselves so tired that we can't do much but eat and sleep. If you look at my class load, you wouldn't think that I'd be having a problem. Only two classes a day three days a week, one class on Thursdays and no classes on Fridays, for crying out loud. And I still work the minimal amount I did all last semester and over break. So what's the problem here?

I have a couple of theories. My first theory is that it has something to do with the season and the weather. We get very little sunlight, because it's cloudy a good majority of the time, and to top that off, there still isn't much daylight. The sun still isn't up when I leave for work some mornings, and it sets at about 5pm. The weather is also snowy and wet and incredibly cold, which is very depressing and takes a lot of one's energy away. With my days filled up again, I feel like I don't have the free time to do the things I want to do, and I know other people I hang with feel the same way. So in some ways it seems a bit unfulfilling. The odd thing is, while I'm actually in class or at work, I feel really good and I have a good time with the people I'm around. So maybe being lethargic at home is a result of not being stimulated like I would be if I were around people all the time. Or maybe I'm stimulated a lot at school so I'm just exhausted when I get home. I don't really know the real reason, and it could be different for all of us, I suppose. It's a bit frustrating, though, when your brain is being all like "I want to do something creative!" and I have to tell it to sit down and shut up because I don't want to get off my bed and miss the end of Good Eats.

In any case, class was okay today. I had art class first, and we used our time to get acquainted with some of the different materials. I'd used ink and charcoal before, but we also used Conte Crayon, and I really enjoy it. It's like charcoal, only bound together better. It feels really neat in my hand too, really smooth. Our exercise was to make as many different marks as we could with the media, and then we displayed our best ones and had a little critique session. The people really liked one of my Conte Crayon ones, it looked pretty interesting. I may post it somewhere when I get it back eventually.

I had tons of creative thoughts today. Like, I experienced some emotion that sort of had hints of sadness and helplessness, and I started to make connections to the weather and it was like "ah!" and I felt lots better after thinking about it. Maybe a little writing will come of it sometime. That reminds me of the like five little writing things I've got going on right now. I really need to learn how to finish something before I go on to the next thing.

Well, Jenny's going to forward me an email that she wants me to read, and I don't think I want to really write any more right now. So ha!
:: Jessi 1/27/2004 12:59:00 AM [+] ::
...

My dream as told to Eric this morning:

I was having a very very bizarre dream last night. in it, there were two small towns which existed in pockets about a mile apart, and my house was in one of them. I went over to Jill's house one evening, and after Saturday Night Live, this movie came on, and I thought it was still part of the comedy, but I was drawn into it and appeared in my house. There were a couple of 1950's police guys in there, and they had drilled a hole looking out towards the street where a black car had been parked for like a week already. I wondered what was going on, and I gathered from what they were saying that they knew there were some aliens on earth already, and they wanted to figure out what they were doing. They thought the black car was a car from the aliens, so they were keeping a close eye on it. I looked out my other window after a while, and I saw that this mini-house office thing had been put up on the front yard, and I assumed that it had been done by the police, but they hadn't actually done it, and they were freaking out that it was the aliens. It was then that I looked out the hole they'd drilled in the wall, and instead of just being parked on the street, the black car looked to be facing right towards the house and I was totally freaked out. So I ran outside, caught the bus which toured the neigboring town, and rode away. When I got there, I realized this other town was little more than a roadside stop, with a couple gas stations, some small buildings, and a high school which looked a lot like a movie theater. It became dark, and the high school looked like it was giving a performance of some sort, so I went over there and walked past some girls who started screaming with glee when they saw me. I got into the school, and found myself at the auditorium, right offstage, and it looked as though a musical was going on. [Eric] was there, the main character in the play, but there were no lines because I was the one who had written the play and I'd forgotten to finish it and submit it to the school. So I brought a book that I liked, and it had some latin phrases in it, so I started singing music to these latin phrases and everyone loved it.

So yes, it was a weird dream night last night. I think a lot of it was because I went to sleep when I was actually tired, didn't try to stay up much later, and slept the whole night through. And that doesn't happen that often.

Well, so it looks like we got our old room back for anime club :) I'm really happy about it, since the old room actually had tiered seating so everyone could see the anime. Plus it just had a better environment about it, it wasn't so darn new and clean and all that. And I don't think it'll seem so crowded, either. The Rapson Hall room just seemed to crowded all the time; people were sitting in the aisles and on the floor, just anywhere they could find the room. So yeah, this'll be like old times again and that'll be fun.

I've already written of my first day of school elsewhere, so I'll leave that to you to find, but I'll summarize here that it was pretty fun and I think I'll like my classes. I have friends in both of my classes so far, which is really nice. Not only will I have someone to sit by, but I'll also have someone to email in case I miss a class or something like that. Anyway, it was good. Today I have art class (Advanced Drawing) and Japanese. I think both will be fine. I like having an art class, because that's like three hours that I can just sit and chill and do something that I like to do. Japanese, as I've said before, looks like it'll be very interesting this semester, and not necessarily due to the subject matter. I've talked about this to a friend of mine who'd taken Japanese at the U when she was an undergrad, and we decided that Japanese class is a lot like high school, because it's a small enough group of people that everyone ends up knowing each other. This can be a good thing and a bad thing, of course. Anyway, any drama that occurs is very obvious.

Man, I just looked outside, and the weather looks quite crappy :( Not only is it cold, but it's like windy hard core. Gonna need the scarf today for sure.

Well, time to get ready for school. Maybe something else interesting will happen today for me to talk about :) Later.
:: Jessi 1/21/2004 11:22:00 AM [+] ::
...

Today's been kind of a lazy day. I didn't have to work today (actually, I don't have to work again until Thursday which isn't too bad) so I managed to sleep in until about noon since i got to bed so late last night. I had a couple of odd dreams, one of which involved a giant purple monster who stole guinea pigs, but I don't really think you all need a big description of that one. Majorly weird, it was...

I've spent most of my waking time today going through my massive collection of NES roms and deleting the redundant ones so that I can burn them to CD for Jill. I started doing this in the afternoon yesterday, but it was a short time into it that I realized that i had over 9,000 roms in the folder, and that it was going to take a long, long time to go through and delete the ones I didn't need. So I didn't finish yesterday. I'm actually not even finished now. I just got into the S's in the alphabet, and there are a whole lot of those so it still may be a while.

What prompted this is that I really, really need to clean some stuff off my computer. Even every time I clean off my anime, I still only have about 30GB free on an 80GB hard drive. I need to get rid of my Fraggle Rock episodes, a lot of the music I don't listen to, and whatever else I can so that I can have a little more room to work. There are some Stepmania files that I know I can get rid of because they're bad, so that's something. And I know I have a lot of redundant MP3s to go through and delete, but that'll be a bigger job most likely so that'll probabably have to wait longer. Yarrr. I'd just like more room to work on my art, because I'm starting to think that, with enough time, i could supplement my meager income by selling art prints, but people will only really want to buy them if they look cool and are of the highest quality I can do. So I'd like to have some of that empty room for high-res poster-size files to make prints out of. Then maybe people would like to buy some commissions :D

I played a little Ocarina of Time today. I'm plodding along at a slow pace, since it's been long enough that I don't have the whole thing memorized anymore, but that's okay. I still remember where some of the secret items are, so I spent some time getting a couple of bottles and some heart pieces instead of actually progressing in the game today. Right now I'm about to go after the second spiritual stone in Dodongo's Cavern on Death Mountain, which isn't one of my favorite boards, so I've been dilly-dallying trying to get more bonus stuff.

I also spent a little time reading while I had some lunch. I've been working on Ender's Shadow bit by bit for the last week or something like that. It's a good book, I just can't seem to sit still long enough to read much of it at a time. *But* I did just buy Shadow of the Hegemon, which is its sequel, so I really need to finish reading this one.

Mmm, we're having a pot roast for dinner tonight, and it's been cooking in the crock pot since I woke up. The smell's been wafting throughout the upstairs rooms and it smells really good. I guess i'm just not used to my family cooking stuff either, it's usually just fast food or every man for himself here. Bah.

I may or may not be going down to the U of M tomorrow with my sister. I think I intend to go anyway, but she may be coming with so that she can learn how to ride the bus. So that will probably mean getting up early or something, blegh. Well, after how late I slept in today, I guess I deserve it. I don't like sleeping in as late as I did, that was kind of crappy.

Meh, I can't think of anything else right now, maybe I'll have some deep thougth during dinner or something.
:: Jessi 1/18/2004 05:10:00 PM [+] ::
...

I haven't been doing a lot of computer stuff the past couple days, so I haven't gotten around to posting at all. Which I'm sure is kind of depressing for all of you who look to me as a source of daily drama. So here I am at 2am, making a post for all of my fans out there.

On Friday I had a fun day. I went down to the U and had lunch with Eireann at about 1pm at Village Wok :) We had a good time talking and catching up on things. You all know how keen I am on sharing the drama of my life with everyone that will listen XD So we both shared some drama, laughed, and spoke a little Japanese (which reminds me how very, very little I managed to study over break, but I don't really care all that much). After that, I walked over to Eric's humble abode and he, Willie and I played a little bit of Mario Kart: Double Dash. I of course wasted both of them. It was a slaughter, really. I own at Bob-omb blast in battle mode, I tell you. After that, they started playing Project Gotham Racing, which looked sort of complicated because it involved drifting around corners and stuff like that. I watched both of them play, and it was sort of fun to root them on. I made a very good joke about if the game were played by pigs, it would be called Project Got-Ham Racing, and it made Eric groan with agony... at the greatness of the joke, of course :)

At about 5:45 we left to go to Folwell Hall for the Anime Club planning meeting. There were already a whole lot of people in the room when we got there, so it was quite loud and warm. I began to get a headache about then, which wasn't really a surprise because the obnoxiousness level was a little higher than it should have been. I mean, people had to be told to shut up like thirty or forty times throughout the three hours we were there, which is really just pathetic. Damn otaku. Anyway, many people had brought in clips of the shows they wanted to suggest, so it took a little longer than it might have without them, but I think it was a good idea to have them, just to get an idea of what we were getting into (because some people just are not very goot at summarizing a show for other people.) For our pre-showing (6:00-6:30), we voted in Yami no Matsuei, which seems to be a fave amongst fangirls. I looked online today for some art from it, and basically the two main characters look like a total Shounen-Ai couple, so I think I can understand where that comes from. For the main showings, we voted in GetBackers, Scryed, and Prince of Tennis. I was really rooting for Prince of Tennis, both because I've enjoyed what little I've seen of it, and because it was up against Princess Tutu. It's not that I don't think Princess Tutu is good, I think it's very good - for a specific audience. I think it's a good magical girl show for children. But there are way too many guys in anime club who really like it a lot, almost too much... and it creeps the living hell out of me. Not to mention the fact that people seem to find depth in it where there isn't any. The show is a bit abstract and confusing, and people seem to think that if they can't understand something, then it must have a deep meaning, and so they cling to that and assume depth where there is none. Anyway, in the voting process Princess Tutu and Prince of Tennis were tied 13 to 13 votes, and so to break the tie we watched a longer clip from each show and voted blind - meaning we shut our eyes so as not to be influenced by our neighbors. And Prince of Tennis won when the person who had shied away from breaking the tie publicly decided to vote when people didn't have to know it was her. So that was very cool :D

After the voting was all taken care of, we went back to Eric's place, along with his friend Scott, and played some video games. Scott brought over his Japanese PS2, and a couple of rhythm games. He first showed us Pop'n Music, which was colorful and looked like a good time (though I didn't try it out because I was really feeling my headache). We also saw IIDX, which was frickin' insane looking. The controller has a little turntable-type deal and seven keys, and you have to play along to the music. Yar, it looked difficult, but Scott was really good at it. My jaw dropped when I saw the speed at which he was playing. Madness, I tell you.

I left there at about 10pm, and I didn't do a whole lot because I had to work really early this morning and needed my beauty sleep :) Work in the morning was okay. I was in the cash office today, and everything went really smoothly except for one thing; the check encoder decided to be really retarded and set me back like fifteen minutes. See, the check encoder looks at the account number on the checks, matches that to what it has in the database for the previous day, and prints on it if it's been read correctly, and then goes into a holder so that I can stack them together in order when I'm done. Well, if it can't read them properly for some reason, they get sent into the reject bin, and I have to do more stuff with them later. Well, when I was going to do the rejected checks, I noticed something; there were an awful lot of good checks in the reject tray, and I was somehow missing a bunch of ones that hadn't been read properly. So I had to sift through and find all the ones that didn't belong in the accepted tray, and replace them with the ones that belonged there, which was a slightly tedious job, but I found all the checks and everything worked out when I finished, so that was okay. I was also done really quickly today in spite of that. I had punched out by 11am, which is a personal record for me :D So I really am getting better, and I like this job more and more each time I get to do it.

After I got home from Target (my dad had to pick up some new wiper blades so I was delayed a little bit) I had some soup for lunch and then took a nap for about an hour. It was kind of a dumpy nap because I don't think I ever actually got to sleep, but it was better than nothing, and it sustained me for the rest of the day. After that I was really hungry again, so after my parents went to the grocery store, I cooked some rice for a snack. I haven't had rice in a long while, and eating some made me want to go to United Noodles :) I haven't been there in ages, not since the summertime, I believe. I'll have to make a trip there sometime this semester. Jill called me a little after that and said she was going to pick me up soon so that I could have dinner at her place. She made lasagna, and a couple of her hubby's friends were going to join us also. One guy ended up not being able to come, so it was just Jeremy's friend Tuyen who joined us. He brought over his DVDs of the first season of the TV show "Curb Your Enthusiasm," so after the very tasty lasagna, we sat down and watched six episodes of that. It's a very funny show, and I'm thinking of getting the DVDs myself, since they apparently sell them at Target. After that, Jill gave me a couple CDs of photos from her wedding and showed me proofs of some more, which were all pretty nice. I liked the humorous ones, of course :D We ended up playing some Grand Theft Auto for a while. Near the end, Jeremy and Tuyen both tried to get the army to come after them, but they both kept getting killed before that point. Oh well, at least they got to sleep with prostitutes and blow shit up :D We watched a little Azumanga Daioh after that, because I wanted to show Jill something. Jeremy and Tuyen didn't seem to get it, but I had a good time.

Well, and that leads me up to this point, the here and now, me writing in my good ol' blog. It's been a fun end of break, and I don't think I'll really mind going back to class on tuesday. I'll get to see my friends again, at least, and Anime Club looks like it'll work out to be pretty enjoyable, at least since the pedophiles won't be peeking up any Tutus this semester XD
:: Jessi 1/18/2004 03:16:00 AM [+] ::
...

GRRRRR, I'm pretty mad right about now. See, I was writing a short story, and I was about half a page through it when I decided to leave the room for a bit because my mom was going to vaccuum. So I quickly hit the 'save' icon at the top of the page, then shut down MSWord and left the room. Well, half an hour later I came back to it and wanted to continue from where I'd left off... but when I loaded it, about two and a half paragraphs were missing. Ugh, and that was a lot of hard work! I can't imagine what happened except that maybe I shut it down before it was actually finished saving, but geez... I'm pretty darn frustrated right now. Of course I want to try and recreate what I had, but I don't know if I can because it's still close enough that I have an idea about what will be different from what I wrote before. Man, I feel like kicking chihuahuas into the garbage right now >:(
:: Jessi 1/15/2004 09:30:00 PM [+] ::
...

Well, today started off kind of blah because I managed to wake up early. That might not sound like such a bad thing, but lately my body has tended to wake up early in spite of going to bed rather late at night. So while I could really use like 10 hours of sleep a night, I've been waking up after like 7 hours. I think my internal alarm might just be wacky, or it might be that the sunlight comes in my window and just blasts me awake. Or maybe that my mom is always so loud getting ready for work in the morning. I don't know, in any case, I was lethargic for a lot of the day.

That is, until I decided to get off my ass and play some Stepmania. I figured out today how to time my workout so that it'll be perfect for the way my body works. See, I found a water bottle of my sister's that holds 32 oz. of water, and filled it up. I decided to play the game until the water was gone out of the bottle. And like I quipped earlier, no, that doesn't mean until it evaporated, it means until I drink the whole bottle. And no chugging, just a little bit when I need it. So that lasted a little over an hour or so, I think. Not bad. I also tried a song that I couldn't do before called "Sandstorm." I still failed at it, but only because of one stupid part which was really much more difficult than the rest of the song. I will beat it someday!

Awww Yeah!

So because I'm exhausted after all that exercise, here are some hilarious quizzes results for you all to peruse.

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla


You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla



Legolas Orlando


What Orlando Bloom are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You're Skittles!!! You have a very interesting
personality, you're so unique. You're the kind
of person who always thinks outside of the box.
You're also a very accepting individual, and
believe in inner beauty.


Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Tree Fairy thats what you are
Please rate my quiz even if it is a 1 thanks


Which Fairy are you?(for anyone many out comes)
brought to you by Quizilla


Yaaay :P I promise not to do that again for a while, ha ha :D
:: Jessi 1/14/2004 10:12:00 PM [+] ::
...

Well, after a couple of weeks waiting on bated breath, my Zelda compilation disc came in the mail yesterday. I was quite happy, but I haven't gotten a chance to play it yet. I'm really interested in having the two N64 ones, since I can't seem to find my N64 games at all, and this way I'll have them both. Of course, I love the two NES ones included also, especially the second one, because I like the music ^.^ I was wondering why the SNES one wasn't included, but a friend of mine wiser in the ways of video gaming explained that it was because a Gameboy Advance version was in stores currently (I didn't know that...) and so they didn't want to give something out for free that they could charge money for. Makes sense.

Marni and I made some nummy chicken salad today. It was pretty tangy actually, with ginger and garlic in the dressing, and also some toasted almonds for crunchiness. The dressing turned out to be a bit salty, since Marni forgot to mention to me when I was making it that I should halve the salt, but it was still good. Just a little heavy, and it made me pretty thirsty. It was also sleep-inducing. I spent a good portion of the rest of the afternoon, in spite of it being super fun, yawning and feeling like taking a nap. Even the wonders of the Vh1 channel couldn't keep us interested for more than a couple of minutes, or maybe hours, ha ha XD. Man, so I thought that Vh1 was a music channel, but oh no, I'm so, so wrong. It's a channel of endless top ten/fifty/one-hundred lists of interesting things. Not that it's a bad thing, it did allow me to see Viggo Mortenson and Brad Pitt in the same half-hour, which wasn't too bad :P

Before all that though, I worked this morning. I was in the cash office, which I found pretty unusual seeing as how there's a lady who works the entire week in there, and the other girl and I are usually only weekend people. Well, it turned out that they'd finally realized that I hadn't been scheduled a third day of training, though I'd received one off the record; Terri, the manager, came in one Saturday when I was working alone and finished off my training. So I'd say that there was probably no good reason for me to be up so darned early this morning, because I didn't really learn anything new that was important or that I'd probably ever need to use. Yarr, precious hours of sleep wasted :P At least I made some money. And I like working in the cash office, since it's nice and quiet an all.

Dude, so Marni and I rode the bus home tonight at about 8:00pm. Downtown we were waiting at a bus stop on Nicollet Mall, and there were a couple of guys standing outside the bus shelter talking. Suddenly I smelled the unmistakable smell of weed wafting into the shelter, and Marni and I gave each other a half-smirking look. She told me that it reminded her of school, ha ha. I think there's still a slight smell of it in my hair though, it's gross. Blegh, that's what I get for taking a bus so late.

God, that chicken salad has really made my stomach do interesting things. I think the problem is that my system isn't so used to rich foods because I've been trying to eat better stuff lately. So now all that mayonnaise and garlic and all that have been an overload on a system used to things a little more bland. It's not that I really prefer bland foods, but I went through a period where I didn't eat much, so to get things back on track I sort of had to eat stuff that was a little more settling to my system.

Man, I've been up waay too long today, i'm going to bed. Peace out.
:: Jessi 1/14/2004 12:18:00 AM [+] ::
...

I forgot to mention earlier that I started using a new web browser today. It's called the Avant browser, and it's just IE but better. It blocks shitty popups which is very nice (it makes a little pacman sound every time one's shot down, it's sort of entertaining to go to popup-laden websites on purpose ^_^), and it also has it so that when you have multiple windows open, they're on buttons at the bottom of the browser instead of totally seperate windows. Very convenient.

Anyway, continue what you were doing.
:: Jessi 1/12/2004 07:26:00 PM [+] ::
...

So my sister showed up back at my house just a little bit ago, and I thought that she was done babysitting but apparently she is not; there's a little 5-year-old boy sitting on my bed with her and they're playing Mario 3. He's cute, but I can't understand a word that he's saying... and he's scared of me, he he :D Jessi Silver; college student, artist, frightener of small children XD He did let me help him with Mario 3, though.

Man, but my mom was totally pissed off that the kid was over here to begin with. I heard her yelling (well, not yelling, because it more like speaking forcefully through clenched teeth) at my sister that she never again wanted little kids in her house. Yikes. Makes her wonder why the hell she wanted my sister and I at all. Really, I wonder why some people have children in the first place. I guess from an outside standpoint I can see the reasons why a lot of people shouldn't; I see them acting like an ass in one way or another, and I can tell that they probably wouldn't be great parents. But for some reason a lot of people feel they should anyway, and I'm sure they don't often take a good hard look at themselves and decide on a very personal level whether they'd be good parents. I hear too many stories of women my age (22 if you didn't know) who are having kids, and I look at myself, and I think "if they're anything like me, then I feel sorry for their children." It's not like I'm a bad person; I tend to think that I'm pretty good and fun to be around. But really, I would not be a good parent at this point. There's just too much stuff that I want to accomplish right now, and I feel like having a child wouldn't allow me to do that - a sure sign that I'm not ready. Maybe some of those other women are, but I tend to think that those types are few and far between. I guess the problem is that the people who are ready to have kids know better not to XD Sorry, just kidding.

I did some DDR exercising this afternoon for about 45 minutes, which is beyond my 30 minute minimum that I set for every other day. It's nice how much more open my lungs feel after a good cardio workout like that. And the side effect is that I'm super hungry, more hungry than I normally am :)

OH MY GOD!!! The damn dog has been sitting outside my room crying for 20 minutes now to get in, and it is sooo annoying.

Grr, I think that just fizzled this post :( Maybe I'll feel like writing more later.
:: Jessi 1/12/2004 06:02:00 PM [+] ::
...

I had a dream last night where I was shopping at some crazy-looking Kohl's store, where I apparently also had a job. I was looking for a baby shower present, and had picked up something in a box, which I believe was a stroller or that sort of thing. As I walked around the store, I realized that there was all sorts of weird stuff going on. Like, apparently one of the big-wigs from the company was on a visit, and when I turned to look at him he was wearing a sweat suit and walking around the store on stilts. There were also crazy products. Like, I walked over to the kitchenware section, and there were these new crock pots they were selling which had premade food splatters on them, made from silicone gel. They were infused with spaghetti sauce flavor for accuracy. When I went to pay for my item, there were tons of people up at the front lanes, so they were calling for backup, but no one had come yet. There was one lane with no one waiting even though there was a cashier, so I went there. I said hi to the woman, and she just stood there. I put my item down, and she didn't do anything. I kept saying "hello?" over and over until another employee came over and politely informed me that her name was Helga and that she couldn't talk. Well, obviously she couldn't do anything else either. Luckily another lane opened up, and a guy that I knew from Target was there, so he helped me out. The register computers were really bizarre. Like, they were sort of like PDAs in the way that they were controlled by the use of a small stylus. That's about all I remember of that one.

I had another dream last night that was somewhat more vague. I remember images of being in the car with my parents, and driving past trees in Fridley laden with peanuts (do peanuts even come from trees?). I remember my parents were fighting, and I was thinking about archaeology in order to distract myself. For some reason, I had a couple sheets of paper with me, and I believed that they were from Eric, some piece that he had written that I was reading over for him. I don't remember the exact nature of what he'd written, but I do remember that whatever it was made me feel quite sad. Hmm.

I just got done with a conversation with Eric actually. We were talking about the new Silent Hill game which was announced, and which looks to have very good graphics. He said that the creators of the game were supposedly changing the focus of the game a little, towards more combat, where the other games were more puzzle-oriented. Whenever I hear something like that, I always immediately jump to the conclusion that the designers are succumbing to pressure from fans who want gratification now; they don't want to have to work through puzzles, they'd rather run around and beat shit up. He told me that he didn't think that would be the case with this game, and I surely hope so.

I think that the reason I get so defensive about this is a result of my relationship with the Final Fantasy series. These games have always been a bit more story-oriented than other RPG series, which I enjoy. However, I feel like the later games have begun to lose their focus, trying more and more to look pretty and have awesome cut scenes, while not backing that up with a really great story. Don't get me wrong though, the stories are still solid, it's just that the focus has gone awry. Like I remember this with FFIX especially. I remember thinking how cool the game looked, and there were tons of great CG cut scenes... but I was done with the game in like a week. There wasn't enough content to back up these amazing cinematic scenes, and it was a little depressing. I also think the latter Final Fantasies have sort of lost the spirit of the series, and there are others who agree with me. Like, for me, the Final Fantasy universe, while never exactly the same from game to game, always had the same sense of blending technology with fantasy, and it always worked really well. But starting with FF7 on the Playstation, they switched it more over to a technological focus, and it sort of bothered me. Yeah, that was when they started selling more games, so there was obviously something that hit a nerve with more people, but I felt it sort of cheapened everything for me. It was like "thanks for supporting us for so long, see you later, we've got bigger fish to fry now."

I haven't played FFX much or its sequel at all, but I get the feeling that, though many people really love these games, it's a lot of pretty with not much else. I mean, especially with FFX-2... I hate to sound like an ass because I've heard from friends of mine that, despite appearances, it's actually a fun game, but I feel like it's too separate from the soul of Final Fantasy. I feel it's more of a guilty pleasure or childish diversion; I had tons of fun playing with Barbies and changing their outfits when I was younger, and even when I was not quite so young, and so there's a real solid appeal to a game where you have three pretty girls that have different outfits that you can change and play around with.

Okay, I'm starting to sound like an elitist ass now, I'm sorry. That means it's time to quit and think about something else, because these things are worthy of an eye-roll, not rage or anger -_-;;

Eric sent me a song to listen to yesterday, and I liked it a lot. I told him today that I think it was because the chord progression was really appealing to me in some way. I described it as making me "feel like it gives me a sense of emergence, with a slight hint of the fantastic." I know that sounds kind of weird, but it's something that's very difficult to actually put into words. It's like a recipe you just sort of know without it being written down. Hmm.

Well, I need to check websites and things again because I go to work soon, so that's it for now ^_^
:: Jessi 1/11/2004 02:35:00 PM [+] ::
...

Wow, so I've had quite a week this week. Quite a week. I'll try and cover the whole thing without going into too much unnecessary detail.

Monday was one of the more interesting days this week. I had been begging my sister to go to Return of the King with me for about a week and a half, and she finally got out of working in the evening on Monday, so we decided to go. I was really excited, it would be my fourth time seeing the movie, which would match my record of seeing The Two Towers. Anyway, about a half an hour before leaving, my sister got a phone call from her "sort-of" boyfriend, Scott, and they apparently made some extra plans for after the movie. I guess my sister wanted to have me come do something that she wanted to do, because I was having her do something that I wanted to do. It was a fair trade, I supposed. Well, it turned out that they wanted to go to Deja Vu, which if you didn't already know is a strip club in Minneapolis. I was a little nervous about the whole thing, because I didn't know if it was a nasty place at all. But, because fair is fair I relented and said we could go. So after the movie, we drove down to Burnsville where her boyfriend lives, and met up with him and his friends, then drove back to Minneapolis. My sister and I made a quick stop at the Arby's near the U of M because neither of us had eaten since lunch time, and it was coming up on 9:00pm at this point. After that, we drove back downtown and went into the club.

It was actually a pretty classy place after all. Once I was inside, all my nervousness melted away and my sister and I sat down and enjoyed the show. In all seriousness, I thought that, once seeing the strippers at work, I would boil over with anger at how degrading the whole thing was, but that didn't happen. In fact, I saw just how powerful and exciting those women were, strutting on stage, hanging and doing practically acrobatic things from the poles, and just generally being sexy. It gave me an entirely new view on the job these women do every night. Interesting stuff. One of them offered me a lap dance, I politely declined ^_^ I wasn't that into it, you know, ha ha.

Well, I'm sure you know that after that, my internet went out sometime Tuesday morning. Go back a couple of posts for an explanation of that ordeal. I did finally come to the conclusion that it wasn't a bad thing, though it might have seemed that way at the time. I actually got a couple things done that I'd been working on, and I managed to do a little reading and some more drawing at that. Go me! It was nice to have a little quiet time to settle down and think. I mean, I do spend plenty of time thinking already, but this was nice, quiet, uninterrupted thinking. It's different, I tell you!

My internet came back on Thursday, and I was pretty happy because at least I got to check my websites and talk online with people a little. What's fun about being gone for a couple of days is that your email inbox gets full of stuff and it's fun to pretend, at least until you read them, that they're all from actual people instead of spammers ^_^ I also got plenty of messages on deviant art, and got to catch up on all my webcomics. Sort of a fun time.

Friday was my most interesting day of all, though. I mean, the morning was fun, because my sister and I went down to Coffman Union so that she could get a U card. We met up with a kewl and secksy friend of mine for lunch, ate pizza and giggled a lot, and then left. Now that was fun enough that I could have had a good day just doing that, but oh no, that was not the end of my day. After leaving the U, my sister and I drove to the piercing place so that she could have her piercing adjusted (the ring was too large and it was wiggling around), and I ended up taking the plunge and getting my nipples pierced (I'm sure some of you know of this event already.) That was quite the experience, I'll tell you that much. So now I'm a bit more decorated, and I'm absolutely loving it. Sorry, I'm not posting any pictures :P

Later that night, Jill and I got together for our weekly game and chat fest. We went out for dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant (Jill, I forgot to pay you back for dinner, let me know how much I owe you -_-), and then we played some Dr. Mario and other games at her place. After that, we made some juice and watched Office Space which is still hilarious every time I see it. One of my personal favorites, to be sure. After that we talked for about an hour and a half about this and that, then watched an episode of "What Not to Wear" which is really a funny show, in a wicked way that is. Then it was like 1am and I really had to go home since I was working the next day.

And so now that brings us to the current time. Nothing really went on today except work, which only lasted for about five hours and was pretty boring. I mean, there were no really irate customers, nothing really out-of-the-ordinary happened... bah, kind of a throwaway day, but at least I made some money. I have to work at 7am two days this week, which is wanky mcspanky, but at least I get to leave early then.

Gosh, I think I've run out of things to say for now (gasp!). I think work dulled my mind for today, so I'll blame it on that. Plus I want to get this post done before it becomes Sunday, because I don't like skipping days :)
:: Jessi 1/10/2004 10:46:00 PM [+] ::
...

Hey dudes. I got my internet back, huzzah! The router came at about 1:30 today, and I plugged it in but wasn't sure what to do after that, so I had to wait until my dad got home from work. It was only like a two hour wait though, so that's okay. I had worked this morning, so I wasn't really too keen on thinking very hard about anything. Which is odd, because while I'm at work, I seem to be prone to doing an awful lot of thinking... hmm.

Like I said last night, though, maybe having a break from the internet for a couple days wasn't such a bad thing. I did end up doing some reading. I had started the book Ender's Shadow sometime last year or something, but it got misplaced so I stopped reading it. But I dug it out of my book pile (which is contained in a cardboard box in the corner of my room) and read like the first 100 pages. It seemed to me that I read it really fast, then I remembered that I've been reading Lord of the Rings lately, which is a whole lot more difficult to read. Not that it stops me from reading it or anything :P he he. Now that I've seen all the films, I like to play this game with myself where, while I'm reading the books, I try to find lines that they used in the movie, whether they altered them or not, and whether they're said by the same character. Yes, I'm a nerd. But it's a fun game and it makes me feel knowledgeable, so ha! Everyone needs a hobby.

Let's see, what else... oh, so I went to Deviant Art today, and I suspected that I would have a bunch of messages from the two days that I wasn't there. I had 7 of them, which I thought was awesome until I realized that none of them were comments on my stuff -_-. I mean, it was cool that Laura had some pics from England and some people on my friends list had uploaded stuff, but damn, I was hoping for some comments on my Six Short Pieces that I had up here a couple of posts ago :( I think you all should just sign up for a Deviant Art free account so that you can all just leave me comments ;) He he. I actually started paying for a full membership there, which isn't very expensive (8 dollars for three months is what I got, just so I don't commit for a full year without knowing whether I really really want to be a paying member or not). I actually like it more already, because things load faster and stuff. And I get an asterisk beside my username instead of just a tilda :D He he,

Well, it's getting sort of late, so I think I'll just post some nice filler in here :)
-----------------------------------------------
Name: Jessi Silver
Age: 22 years
Astrological sign: Sagittarius
Chinese zodiac sign: COCK!!!
IQ (if known): According to the Emode website, it's 138
Innie or outie: Innie. I don't think I've ever seen an outie in person
What joints can you crack?: fingers, my weird inner thumb joint, elbows, shoulders, back, neck, ankles
What is special about your eyes?: Umm, they're awesome and they're two colors together (brown and green).
Favorite body part: my hands. Some people would have you believe that it's my breasts, and I can see why they would think that also.
Ideal hair color: auburn. mine is like that in the summer sometimes.
If you were offered the ability to fly in exchange for a bodily organ of yours, would you do it?: Yeah, I've always dreamed of flying.
If so, what would you sacrifice?: a kidney. I mean, I have two and all.
How does music make you feel?: Man, I get so caught up in music sometimes. Like, I can listen to music and be moved to tears, that's how it is with me sometimes.
What is more attractive, brains or beauty?: Brains. I mean, beauty will keep you happy for a short while, but brains will keep you happy for a long while.
Massages, giver or getter?: Oh, I like both. I think I'm an okay massage-giver.
What is more important in a relationship, friendship or romance?: Friendship, because not everyone is really that romantic, and that's just fine.
Give a plug for the last really good movie you saw: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. See it.
Do you get along well with children?: Yeah, I deal pretty well with them.
Name something truly beautiful: Looking into someone's eyes.
What TV show do you watch most often?: Ummm, pretty much anything on the food network.
What animal are you?: technically a human. In my imagination? A dragon :)
Favorite artist: Hmmmmm. I always have trouble with this question. The guy who did the Mario comic book that I have.
Favorite mythical creature: Dragons, or Elves :)
Favorite class: it used to be Japanese... (grumble, damn new book...)
Most creative thing you?ve ever done: I painted a mural in my room. I don't know, I do a lot of crazy writing, but I don't know the distinction between "creative" and "crazy."
Guilty pleasures: E! entertainment television, Chipotle chips and guacamole.
Been reincarnated: Umm, I couldn't tell ya.
How would your friends describe you to other people?: Smart, creative, maybe sad depending on whatever's going on.
Aren?t drunk people funny?: It depends, am I drunk with them or just watching them?
Long or short fingernails: Short, long ones are just scary, like talons or something.
Math, science, social studies, or English?: English
Ever done drugs?: It depends. I've never done marijuana or crack or anything, but I've had alcohol before.
Best lesson you?ve learned: Don't try and force things to happen
Worst thing that ever happened to you: I can't really think of something to fit well here.
Boy bands: Sexy but shallow
Poetry: psh, don't get me started.
Songs: "I Don't Want to Live on the Moon" by Ernie :D
Pencil or Pen?: pencil for drawing, pen for writing
Earliest memory: I remember I was like 2 or so, and my dad told me to clean up my room, and I told him no and then got yelled at. Nice, I know.
Really nasty words: sac, moist
Best thing about summer: I get to see my friends, and I don't have to think too hard unless I really want to.
---------------------------------------------------
Lol, I'm such a copout sometimes. Well, I'd already gotten to that hazy point so my brain wasn't working quite at optimum capacity. So now I think it's time to go to bed. aaah, sleeping.

:: Jessi 1/09/2004 01:30:00 AM [+] ::
...

Hey, so if you usually talk to me online, you may wonder what the heck is going on, since I haven't been online for like more than a day. Well, funny story, see Monday night everything was going fine, you know. Internet was working, I did a blog post and uploaded stuff to my deviantart page. Well, I woke up Tuesday morning and tried to get online, and it worked for about five minutes. I was in the middle of loading like half of the deviantart page when it just like stopped. So I figured that we'd been kicked off again, which usually happens in the middle of or after I've been doing some heavy uploading and downloading (like getting something using bittorrent). Well, I went downstairs to where the router is located which networks our house. Usually the remedy for this problem is to unplug the internet cable from the router, wait about thirty seconds, and then plug it back in. This usually works right away. Well, when I looked at the indicator lights on the router, and the one showing the internet coming in was all cool, but the ones that indicate the other computers were blinking like mad. So I wondered about this. Anyway, I did the usual procedure, ran back upstairs, and went to click on the router address from my computer. Well, it wasn't going there, so I knew something was up. I spent the whole afternoon waiting for my dad to get home so that he could take a look at it, and when he got home, he couldn't figure it out, so he called the internet people. Turns out that it was the router, it was burned out and died. I was like "but we've only had it for like a year and a half!" but apparently that's a lot longer then they're usually expected to last, which I find rather annoying. Things are supposed to last longer than a year and a half! Well, that's just my apparently old-fashioned sensibilities talking there. Hmph. Well, so that's what's been going on. You may wonder then how I'm writing in my blog. Well, Marni and Staci have graciously allowed me to commandeer their computer for the moment so I can have some contact with the outside world for a little bit.

Actually, to tell you the truth, not having a choice in being cut off has probably been a good thing for me. I mean, no offense to anyone, but while I'm typing things on my computer, sometimes I just let myself get all distracted by all the IMs and things coming in, and so maybe I'm not doing my best. I dunno. I've been sort of lonely, but not lonely to the point of depression. I mean, there was a point when I didn't have 24/7 internet access (gasp!) and I must have found something to do during those times :) I'd like to thank those of you who've had the heart to call me. Okay, the one of you, who would be Eric. Thank you for the nice phone call and being worried about me.

So yeah, needless to say, Marni and I hung out today. I came over here at about 3pm, and we sat and had tea and talked. I ranted about a particular dilemma I've been having, and she was sympathetic, but at the same time couldn't offer much advice. I suppose that's both the wonder and the dilemma of being Jessi Silver. I experience all these things that most people never think of or just don't get bothered by, and while it can be frustrating, it also affords me a measure of pride knowing that I'm just so darn unique. Or something :P

Anyway, Staci came home for about a half an hour and we laughed because she talks really humorously about things. Then she left and Marni and waited for some insurance lady to come so Marni could take a pee test proving that she wasn't a drug addict... for insurance purposes, really! Then we started making dinner, Kung Pow chicken with some seasoning from a seasoning packet. I chopped up onions and celery and broccoli. Marni chopped the chicken. Then we started stir-frying, and at the last second decided to put in pineapple, so I chopped that up and we added that in, along with some peanuts which we had been roasting with oil, salt and garlic :) Mmmmm. So needless to say, it was super tasty, and we were proud of it, though Marni really did do most of the work, he he.

Well, I think I'd better finish this off, since it really isn't my computer or anything. If any of you would like to call me on my cell phone, I'd be happy to hear from you. We probably won't have internet back until tomorrow evening at the latest, and I'm always happy to talk to people :) Anyway, talk to you all later.
:: Jessi 1/07/2004 10:54:00 PM [+] ::
...

Well, I had quite an interesting day today, but seeing as how I was up pretty early, I'll save that for a later post. As for right now, I'm letting you in on a little writing exercise that I've been doing the past two days. I've had lots of little short ideas and scenarios floating around in my head for a while now, and I decided to use those rather than just let them stagnate. I challenged myself to pop one idea out at a time, in one sitting, taking no more than 10-15 minutes per idea, and not bother about editing and that sort of thing until a later time. So I thought I'd post them here for the sake of showing them off in their infant forms. I will also have them up on my deviant art site, in the case that you'd rather read it there :) They were a good exercise; every word that I write makes me a better writer, or so I hope. So without further ado, here are what I like to call "Six Short Pieces" (and keep in mind that I like to write in symbols; that seems to be both my blessing and curse. So the obvious train of thought may not necessarily be the correct one, though you're all welcome to speculate all you like ^_^):
-------------------------------------------
1. I once had a dream where I inhabited the body of my earlier self. I was in sixth grade, and yet I had the memories of myself as a high school graduate. Looking to my friends sitting in the seats around me, I realized that Mikel and David were experiencing the same phenomenon. We gave each other knowing looks; looks which belied our ages and which spoke the question, “are we going to change anything?”

Would I change anything? If I knew what changes I could make to create more happiness for myself, would I do it? Would I assume to know that those changes would make any difference at all? It is quite possible that any amount of strife averted might bring about more strife, this time in unexpected forms. Would that be a risk I would be willing to take?

Hindsight is 20/20 they say, but is it too focused to see the big picture?

2. There once lived a princess, and she was generous as well as beautiful. She also had a talent for gardening, and would grow the most beautiful flowers, then walk amongst her people, giving them away. She loved to see the smiles on their faces as they greeted her, marveled at her glowing beauty, and accepted her flowers as gifts. In fact, she loved it so much that she began to thrive on it, living from smile to smile, from thank you to thank you. She planted seed after seed in the soil of her garden, to fuel her desire for love and acceptance from her people, yet as she ventured out more and more, her desire was not sated but began to grow in intensity.

This continued until the soil of her garden, raped of its fertility, could no longer give life, and her flowers withered and died. She herself had withered too; her mind, too long focused on one thing alone, no longer gave rise to creative thought, and her heart, too long in seeking the praise of others, became empty and cold, deprived of its life force.

It was at the foot of her garden that she, withered and weak, died with nary a sound. And though her decomposing flesh fertilized the soil, nothing but weeds grew from the spot where she fell.

3. I was riding the bus one day, not long before the end of the semester, and an old woman and her husband got on at a downtown stop. She paid for both of them, and she sat down in the seat in front of me, and waited while her husband, who couldn’t walk well, caught up with her. The bus driver, not noticing the man’s frailty somehow, jerked the bus to a start and began to pull away from the stop.

In slow motion, the elderly man seized up and began to fall, first hitting the seat towards which he was walking, and then falling to the floor with a sickening “thud.”

The world is jerked out from under each of us from time to time. I knew how he felt.

4. One day I sat two rows behind, and caught myself staring intensely at the backs of peoples’ heads. I imagined that, if I stared hard enough, maybe I could make them turn around and look at me; that maybe, each time that they fidgeted in their seat or scratched their head, it was because of my intense, unwavering concentration.

I became so bored that I imagined a great hot beam of light emanating from my eyes, and that I could use this tool to carve messages in the air behind them, and that their minds would extract them from the air and hear the intensity of my message.

And then, as the teacher dismissed class, my thoughts were broken and I again became impotent.

5. There once was a young woman, just out on her own, who kept a dog in her apartment for companionship. The dog had been with her since she still lived at her parents’ house, and she was very attached to his sweet personality and adorable little face.

One day, as she was out taking him for a walk, the dog began to strain against his leash and bark uncontrollably. She looked across the street, and there was a neighbor of hers walking his dog in the opposite direction. She gave her dog’s leash a quick yank to get him to quiet down, but the leash broke at a weak point and the dog ran off. She called after him, but he was nowhere to be found.

After a month of searching, the woman finally began to give up, though the thought of her lost dog still weighed heavily on her mind. On the way home from work one day, she spotted a truck parked alongside the highway, with a sign proclaiming “Free Puppies.” Impulsively she pulled to the side of the road, got out, and peered into the cardboard box sitting on the bed of the truck. A tiny little mutt peered out at her with big shiny eyes, and his little nub of a tail began to wag back and forth. The woman was enchanted from the start, and decided to take the dog home.

The little dog’s unconditional love for her began to mask the pain she still felt from her other dog having run away, and she began to ignore her depressed feelings in favor of the warmth she felt for the little pup. She gave him her old dog’s toys, and let him sleep in his bed at the foot of her own. But something troubled her, and a knot in her stomach grew, for though her puppy was a joy, her runaway dog haunted her in her dreams more and more frequently. She would wake up crying in her bed, and even as her puppy licked away at her tears, she was not comforted because it wasn’t the same, it would never be the same.

6. The three walked across the ice on a cold day in early March. The two in the front, a boy and a girl, walked with hands interlaced, warm in spite of the nippy air. The one who walked behind them did so of his own choice, for while it hurt him to be nearby, it hurt him more to be away and alone.

The ice below them was becoming thinner as they crossed near the center of the frozen lake, but none of the three cared enough to pay attention. The two in front had passed a particularly weak point without incident, but having weakened it more, the third plunged through into the murky water below.
A sudden chill raced through his body, as his clothing began to soak through to his skin, and he expelled bubbles of breath that floated to the surface. The other two had stopped, but not for him; they gazed off into the beauty of the setting winter sun, and heard no gurgle or splash from behind.

He struggled for as long as he could, grasping for the opening which seemed now so dark and far away. As he became weaker and the cold began to seize his body, and death began to wrap around him, the neurons of his brain began to fire erratically, showing him gasping visions of memories past.

He was not shown the time that he won the science award in high school, nor when he passed his drivers license test. He did not relive his last birthday, the one where he’d received a car, a surprise from his parents. But he felt the passing bursts of emotion, as clearly as if he had been there again. And suddenly, she was there…

Standing before him, face as bright as an angel, with the sun shining upon them as if they were in the midst of a hot summer’s day. He met her eyes, and saw that, today, they were all for him. She smiled one of her most precious smiles, and the box in which his feelings were locked was suddenly thrown open, as he returned the smile, his face blushing with joy. Finally, he had gathered the motivation to say what he needed to say, and he took her shoulders in each of his hands, looking directly into her waiting eyes.

“I’m not the best-looking guy, I know that,” he began, “and I am nowhere near perfect. But ever since I met you, I’ve wanted to be with you. Every time you come in the room, and I see your beautiful eyes, my heart overflows and I can’t tell you how wonderful you are. In spite of the walls that fell between us, I’ve always loved you; I can’t imagine loving anyone else…” and he trailed off. He came closer to her and, with eyes brimming full of tears, he took her delicate face in his hands, and kissed her with all the earnestness in the world, savoring the sweetness of her lips, and the perfume of her hair. As he drew away, he felt her grasping both his hands, and saw the sadness in her eyes. He began to feel as though he was pulling away, and the light began to get dimmer and dimmer as his legs left the ground. He felt as though he was being sucked away, and she watched him with her tearful eyes as was dragged into the abyss. The darkness constricted and closed around him…

And as his body jerked involuntarily the last few times, the final bits of his life trickled away. It was then that she turned around to look, feeling as if something close to her had been sucked away; as if something supporting her had suddenly given out.

Even the coldness of the winter was not enough to stop her hot tears from falling.
----------------------------------------
Well, that's about it for now. Hope you liked the writing; it was a pretty fun and fruitful exercise for me, and I plan to do it as often as possible. Later, all.

:: Jessi 1/06/2004 01:20:00 AM [+] ::
...

I worked in the cash office again this morning. While a couple of weeks ago that fact would have made me nervous, yesterday the manager came in and trained me in some more on how to close at the end of the day, and so now I finally feel that my training is complete. And things went really smoothly too; I ended up balancing on all my values and so I didn't have to go around searching for lost money or anything, he he :) I was also done about an hour and fifteen minutes earlier than I had been before, so it's already made an obvious impact, which is really good.

I think people probably have the basic idea of the kinds of things I have to do in the cash office, because for all intents and purposes, the majority of it is just handling all the money that the store uses each day, and taking care of the cash and checks that are received at the registers. But really, it's sort of an interesting job in itself. When I get there in the morning at 7am, the manager lets me in the office (it's locked, and only the Lead on Duty has the keys to get in), and unlocks the safe so that I can get to the money, some of which has to be distributed right away to the head cashier so that she or he can put it in all the store's cash registers. All of that has been prepared the day before by whoever worked in the cash office the previous day, so I just have to take it out and put it in the right places. The head cashier has a cart which holds the money securely so that it's difficult for someone without keys to steal it. On top I put the trays holding rolls of coins; three trays of pennies, two each of nickels and dimes, and three trays of quarters. In the drawer of the cart I put all the cash for the registers, and the four sets of keys which the head cashier needs to unlock the various drawers around the front lanes. In the bottom of the cart I put a bag which has four-hundred dollars worth of five dollar and one dollar bills in it; this is in case a cash register runs out of these denominations of bills - they can trade 25 dollars out of their register for a pack of one dollar bills if they're running short, for example. There's also a bag with a little cash in it for our Target Visa program; it doesn't get used very often, but once in a while the cashiers will get cash rewards for having people sign up for our store credit card, so that's what that bag is for. There's also a clear bag to hold filled out credit apps, purchase orders (when an organization will purchase something and have it billed to their company or organization), and late media (things like checks, old charge slips and the like which were from previous sales dates but were just found laying around). After all those things are on or in the cart, I put the bags holding the morning's advances for the Service Desk in the drawer that goes out there (the cash office is right next to the Service Desk). They get more cash than the normal registers do because they often give out more cash on returns than they take in from making sales. This part takes up about the first ten to fifteen minutes of the time I'm in there, and is pretty systematic.

After that, I turn on the various machines that I have to use during the day. There's a crummy dot-matrix printer that we use to print all the reports out, plus two cash-counting machines (one isn't working right now though, oh well). Then there's the computer, which always stays on, but I have to turn on the monitor. And finally, I turn on the check machine, which reads all the checks, matches up the account numbers to their corresponding transactions, and prints out a number on the bottom right corner saying that it's been validated by the store; these get sent to the bank. But before I use the machines, I log into the computer. We use a computer program called CP4000 to input the data we come up with during the day, and it goes step-by-step, which is nice because then there's really no way to forget something. The first option is "Last Night's Advances." This is only necessary if the head cashier signed for any cash advances after the cash office employee left for the day before. Generally this doesn't occur except during the busiest of days; every once in a while after Christmas the returns will be so large that the Service Desk will need more money, but I don't remember that having happened since I've been working in the office. Anyway, after that I have to balance the safe for the morning. I have a worksheet and have to manually count all the cash and coins currently in the safe, and that should match with the count in the safe which was taken at the end of the previous day. It might be different for a couple of reasons; if the bank delivered cash the previous day which didn't get counted in yet, or if there were advances like I said before, there would be more or less money in the safe, respectively. However, the deliveries that were received should be pinned to the bulletin board by the computer, so when counting we know to disregard those. And as I said before, if we calculate in the "Last Night's Advances" beforehand, everything should balance out in the system, if not match on the previous night's worksheet. If everything works out to equal, then I can save the balance, and go on to the next item. A sheet will print out that I staple to the worksheet, and both I and the manager sign it, verifying that everything was equal. If it wasn't equal, in that case then I would have to try and figure out what was up, which would most likely be one of the two cases I stated earlier. If it wasn't one of those two things... well, either someone made an advance without signing for it, or someone was stealing... good thing that hasn't happened yet :)

After that I get down to the real meat of the stuff I have to do, which includes running the checks through the system and counting all the cash that the registers took in the previous day. I start the checks first, because they can generally run through without me watching them constantly, and that's nice because I can then get a few other tasks out of the way before I count the cash. I have to take all the coupons from the previous day and stuff them into this huge bag that gets sent out to Sales Audit once a week. Usually the gift cards are in a little bundle, but recently people have been redeeming a lot of them (it is after Christmas after all) and so we've been putting them all in a big plastic bag, which will be sent separately to Sales Audit. When I'm done messing around with all those little tasks, I can finally get to counting all the cash collected from the registers the previous day. Each register has its own bag, with all the cash from that register in the bag, so it's very easily divided up and I can make sure that I've done all the registers just by looking at home many bags there are and the numbers written on the bags (each register, or "location," has its own assigned number). Basically, counting the cash is just what it sounds like; I take the money out of the bag, put it in the cash counter based on denomination ($1, $5, etc.) and the computer records how many of each bill there are and calculates the total value. Then I just save each one as I go along, until they've all been taken care of. If the checks finish processing during that time, sometimes I'll stop in the middle of counting cash and do the rejected checks. Those are the checks that are in the system, but somehow didn't end up getting read by the machine, so I just have to input them by hand, not a big deal if there aren't too many. Then if there are any that were input at the registers as cash by accident, I have to manually add those into the system also, but there usually aren't very many of those at all.

After the checks are finished off and all the cash has been counted, I get to start dividing the cash up into piles so that I can bundle them. I usually do the $100 bills and the $50 bills first, because those all get sent to the bank. Then I go to do the $20 bills, because a good majority of those get sent to the bank, and all the other bills stay in the store to keep being used. The $20's get divided into groups of 100, which are $2000 dollar groups, but I have to remember to leave enough behind to put in the Service Desk advance bags, the regular cash register advance bag, and the Food Avenue overnight advance bag. This used to be really hard for me to figure out, but after doing it a few times, I know how many bundles I should have for each place they need to go, so it's not so bad anymore. Once I have the $100s, $50s and $20s finished up, I usually make out the deposits right then so they're done in time. That just involves filling out a deposit slip for the bank, one each for cash and checks, then taking one plastic deposit bag for each and filling out the required info on the bag (our store location, the destination, etc.). Once those are filled out and ready, I have the manager come into the office so that she or he can check them and make sure they're done right, then they get put in the bags and sealed for when the guy comes to pick them up. After I've finished counting the rest of the money, bundling them into their respective denominations, and setting aside the advances for the following day, I go into the computer, first to input the deposits that I filled out earlier, then to input what money I'm advancing for the following day, which is usually always the same. After that, I do one more count of the safe, and input that into the computer under the second balance of the safe. If it comes out unequal, I have to try and figure out where I made a mistake counting or whatnot, but if not, I can save this final count, print out the forms for the day, have the manager sign off on them, and I'm basically done. I just have to make sure I put all the money in the safe, because it gets locked until after the store closes.

So yeah, that's basically my day in the cash office. I was a little hesitant about doing it at first, but I tried for it anyway, and now I like it a lot. Plus, I get to go home earlier than like everyone else :) He he, that's always good.

Friday night I hung out with Jill for a little while. She came over to my house and I showed her a little of what I got for Christmas, and the stuff I was doing on the computer (I was working on a wallpaper at that time). We talked for a while, and since she has an N64, I decided to try and find my old games to give to her, since I really don't play them much because my N64 isn't hooked up. I could only find one game, Zelda: Majora's Mask, which I wasn't sure would work anyway because it had taken a spill into a river at one point (I'm not going to go into that tale of woe right now, so don't ask). But I decided I'd let her keep it if it did work, since I ordered the Zelda compilation disc and it's supposed to arrive soon now. We went to her place, and I put the game in, and it worked right away. Good old Nintendo quality right there. Anyway, I played through the intro for her, which was a bit longer than I remembered and I sort of felt bad because she was just sitting there watching while I played. After that was done, we went downstairs to the kitchen and we had a little apricot wine with some cottage cheese and chives (damn, I like chives, they're so oniony in nature :D). Her husband Jeremy was with his friend in the living room watching American Pie 3. He he, I overheard parts of it, and it was as funny as I'd remembered. After that, we went back upstairs and played Dr. Mario. I'd forgotten how fun that game was. I beat her soundly at it too :P After that, I decided I ought to go home because I had to work early the next day. Too bad, I could have hung out all night.

My friends are starting to go back to school now. David and Brian left today, and I was sad because the last time I saw them was New Year's. Oh well, there's always spring break. And the internet, though that isn't the same.

Hmm, well before this spills into another day, I think I'm going to end it. You know, I like posting long things, but it's no fun to read something when you don't really know what day the person is actually talking about, because yesterday could be two day ago, and whatever. I'll stop talking now :D
:: Jessi 1/04/2004 11:18:00 PM [+] ::
...

Bleargh, so I'm in the midst of some sort of evil cold. Before I had a sort throat and a fever which made me feel cold and shivery all the time, now it's just some sinus thing going on. I blow my nose, it fills back up in five minutes, I blow again... and not only that, but I have the constant urge to sneeze. I bet I could shut it down for a while with a little sinus medication, but that stuff just shuts me down, and I already had a bout of sleepyness today for no reason whatsoever, so I don't want to cause another one.

Well, anyway, yesterday was interesting. I was talking to a few people online last night. I was talking to Adam, and I said something to him like "man, no one ever comments on my deviant art page" or something. Well, I visited it just a little bit later, and three people had left new comments, and one of them had even added me to their "friends" list! Man, if I'd known all it took to get something was a little whining... "man, I never have anyone just give me a million dollars!" Ha ha ha :)

I had a very fruitful bath this morning. No, I don't mean the bath tub was filled with oranges and strawberries, I mean that it gave me a lot of good ideas. Like, for a while I just sat in there, reading Lord of the Rings, but then I began to let my mind wander a little, and just like that, elements of the story I want to write began to float into my mind. I'd had a certain idea for the plot beforehand, but I just couldn't get it to fit together with the type of story I wanted it to be... it's hard to explain, but it had more to do with genetic stuff which would have made me look like an ass if I tried to write it and be believable. Not to mention the fact that to incorporate that particular plot with the characters would have needed some character motivations, and I just couldn't think of any that were plausible. So anyway, in the bathtub today I scrapped most of that former idea in favor of one that would fit better in a fantasy setting. I think the other idea would have drifted too far into the scifi area, and while I enjoy Science Fiction a lot, I don't know enough plausible scientific ideas to come across as competent writing it. The new idea has more to do with nature and its connection to the beings in the story, which actually fits a lot better with what I wanted to do in the first place, I don't know what took me so long to figure that out -_-;

So, I've been a little secretive about this story thing all along, that I suppose maybe I should let you all in on what it's about. Well, it's about some characters which I put together back in elementary school. In third grade, I made up a character named Belinda Bird. It was just one of those moments of inspiration, you know? And back then I had no real preconceived notions of what kind of character was plausible or not, so there she was, on the page before me. Back then, she was a sixteen-year-old humanoid bird (or an 'anthro' bird character). She lived in the city of Birdville with her friends Mandy the Duck and Chrissy the Sparrow, loosely-based on my friends Jill and Missy, respectively. I think I may have written a story or two involving her, but I couldn't tell you where they are now. Anyway, so this little story universe existed independently until about sixth grade. It was then that we were assigned a project where we had to make up a country and include like maps and histories and that sort of thing for it. I went all out. I made up a race of anthropomorphic dragons for a country called "Dragonia" ( XD ) and it was pretty cool. Well, I began to make up little characters to go in it, and long after the project had been handed in I was still creating things about this world. It was only natural that, eventually, I would manage to try and connect the two together. So I made it so that the two universes were one, existing on the same planet, though Belinda's city would be modern/futuristic, while the Dragonian world/area would be more medieval or something like that. Maybe just as advanced, but simpler and more in tune with nature. Well, from that point on, I've been struggling with trying to get them to fit together and to create a good exciting plot that would connect the two places and sets of characters.

Well, I think within the past few days I've probably made almost as much progress as I have in like the past 9 years -_- I began to see the dragons as some sort of caretakers of the planet, a partially magical race endowed with gifts of healing, carried on across generations. In fact, since reading Lord of the Rings again recently, I've come to almost equate them with the elves by making them the eldest race, very beautiful and mysterious, and also more in tune with things that other people have forgotten or tend to ignore. I'm also trying to develop a rudimentary language and writing system for them to use, and you can totally blame Tolkien for that one. Or thank him, I suppose, it all depends on how it turns out in the end :) That, I don't know quite how far I'll get with that... I don't expect it to be a full language yet, but I'll take it as far as I can before I start to make an ass of myself. I'm lucky in that I have a language background in school, and that I've taken linguistics so I know sort of how to start and develop things in terms of grammar and whatnot. The fact that I'm coming up with a grammar system that's sort of different from English is a personal victory for me... it would really be awfully darned easy to just make up some vocabulary and slap it into the English grammar structure with which I'm quite familiar.

Okay, so now I'm going to try and outline the plot for my story as I have it now and as generally as I can... I don't know if I can handle another ginormous post right now. The story begins with Belinda. She's just existing in her hometown doing whatever job she does (I haven't decided if she's still a student or if she's graduated and has a job yet... I'm leaning towards student because I think that would be more interesting). I think I want it to have something to do with history or archeology, but that's a choice that I'll make in the later stages. Anyway, she's doing her thing, while in the meantime two mysterious creatures are around town searching for... something (oooh, mysterious). As Belinda is walking home one night from researching some historical/archeological thingy or whatever, she is overtaken by those who are searching. However, rather than having sinister intentions, these two mysterious beings are in dire need of help; help that they believe Belinda can offer them. It is in her that they see the culmination of their legend come true, for they are in search of their protector, the one who their legends say will come to protect their land and their earth in the time of its greatest need. And the earth really is in dire need of protection, because, unbeknownst to everyone besides its caretakers, the earth is plagued with sickness and is dying.

The two individuals who have taken Belinda are two aristocrats from the Dragonian realm, a long-forgotten race of people who have, from the beginning of recorded time, cared for the planet and its inhabitants (this idea is introduced in my myth of "The First" which I really, really need to finish). Belinda is unconvinced that she holds any power and wishes to resume her normal life, but Elise, the future leader of Dragonia and her betrothed, Draco, have come searching for Belinda upon prompting from a vision, and are convinced that she has some important part to play in all this. Upon their insistence, Belinda agrees to go with them (this is the part which I'm having trouble with; I have to figure out some reason why Belinda can just up and drop what's going on in her life and go with these people who she doesn't know... I was thinking of making her area of study something in ancient history or archeology for this very reason - she may have uncovered some bit of Dragonian history, and this prompts her to take advantage of a visit to their land.) In any case, Belinda, Elise and Draco arrive in Dragonia (I also still need to figure out what sort of 'barrier' separates the two worlds, whether it's magical or just some forgotten physical path which people instinctively don't take).

At this point, there's some sort of explanatory stuff going on. You know, lots of talking with no action. This is where Belinda, and we, learn what the heck is going on; what's up with the planet (they don't know, but they know it's sick), why they think Belinda is this protector (it's been foretold in a vision), and that sort of thing. This is a hard mantle of responsibility to accept for her, and though she feels she wants to help, after getting to know the situation, she doesn't know how. I'm thinking that there's some wise oracle or something that they go to, who advises Belinda to "go back to the beginning; the origin." which means that she and her new friends must make a trip to try and find the lost birthplace of the First; the womb of the earth into which she entered to sleep (see, I really need to finish that damn myth). It has been told that she was blessed with eternal life, and if awakened will be able to help Belinda and advise her of her purpose. So they get their stuff in gear and go off looking for this birthplace...

I feel like if I reveal anymore I'll be giving away the big secrets of the story, which isn't something I really want to do at this point. I mean, if I ever should get published, then who would buy my book if they already knew the ending? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, or so they say? :P

Man, my sister and my parents were fighting again tonight. I mean, I guess everyone fights, but I listened to every word that was said, and I feel like they're cornering my sister with arguments that make no real sense. The situation was that my sister got home at around 10pm and wanted to go out to a movie with her friend, which wouldn't be done until 2am (it's Lord of the Rings, btw). My parents are somehow clinging to this idea that she should have a curfew of 1am, when I by that time was her age I'd been staying out until like 4 in the morning without my parents getting mad at me. I'm noticing the double standard really obviously now. Like, I'll have given my parents some extremely general idea of when I'll be home, and it doesn't matter, but my sister will have to come up with a specific time she'll be home, and if she's even like ten minutes late, my mom will just jump on her, it's insane. My mom says that she can't sleep when my sister is out, but I think my mom just needs to shut her mind up and quit thinking of all these horrible scenarios that she thinks my sister is getting into. My sister's not a drug addict, and her friends aren't bad people, my parents just don't take the time to get to know them. I guess I would probably still get into these fights with them about things if I were confrontational. I've just learned when to stay away, and so they suddenly think I'm this perfect child and that my sister is so bad. It upsets me; they won't even take a good listen to the things my sister says. They won't admit to their own wrongdoing. I've decided that this house is just toxic, and I need to take steps to get out as soon as possible.

I don't have that long left for school, and so I think I ought to start thinking about work. But before that, I need to really take some steps to make sure that I can have independence with as little strife as possible. First of all, I need to get my license, which is much more real for me now that we have another car to use. This way, I don't feel as if I'll have my license but never be able to use it. Then, I think with the new mobility, it'll be much more realistic for me to look for a new job, possibly something downtown. I have little hope of finding anything really professional right away, but I have retail experience, and I could make pretty good money working at one of the retail places downtown on Nicollett mall. Even Marshall Field's would be good for a start. Then I could look for an apartment sort of nearby, maybe down near the U where I know people, and that way I could get out of my toxic household. Hopefully I wouldn't be so busy with work that I would be too tired to work on the thing that I really want to do, my writing. I think that'll remain to be seen, but trying to keep that up with school this semester will sort of be a test of how much I can juggle at one time. Anyway, if I got an apartment, I would totally ask my sister to come live with me. She needs to get out of here way more than I do, because I can see my family tearing away at her self-esteem every day, even though they may not realize it. I was just thinking that if I ever came into a large sum of money, either through writing something totally awesome (ha!) or through other means, the first thing I would do would be to move out with her. We are two very different people, but I feel like we do share some of the same problems... like I was the "bad child" back when I was in high school, so I think I have some idea of how she feels, and I spent a lot of time feeling so depressed at that time that I'm almost surprised that I'm here to write this right now. As much as I've improved lately, and as well-off as I am, I still think that I could actually really benefit from some counseling. I still have trouble taking charge, though I've been trying lately. I think assertiveness is difficult for me, and so I backfire and end up being passive-aggressive, which sucks and I get so upset with myself when I know I'm doing it. I guess I just need to figure out the root of all that before I can really help it.

Well, I've been writing this much too long, It's another one of those two-day posts, though I didn't indicate the divide this time because it doesn't really matter much. If you have any comments about my extremely bare-bones plot here, then don't hesitate to email me, the address is at the top of the page. Goodnight everyone :)
:: Jessi 1/03/2004 11:07:00 PM [+] ::
...

Whew, so it's new year's eve right now. And I'm super tired (probably the sudafed working its magic). I was up late last night talking to Jon-Erik who I never talk to, and also writing a massive email which probably took longer because I was talking to other people and ended up taking a "sick break" (nap) in the middle of.

I usually toy with the idea of sending out some sort of New Year's mass email to everyone, but because I think enough people read my blog, I'm just going to slap something down here and hope that everyone who's interested gets a chance to read it. So yeah, here we go.

2003 was the type of year that contained just about everything. I can't say that there were many dull moments throughout the year, like what might have been said of previous years. It began and ended the same way - with a breakup - but while one was cleanly cut, the other was a more valuable experience, as it led me to see things that I should have seen long ago. But enough about that right now. What were the interesting things I did throughout the year?

Well, there was class, of course. Two semesters worth of Japanese which varied in quality. Spring semester was a lot better, I think all of us had a lot more fun because the curriculum was just designed in a way that more people were satisfied. But, there was also the GPT, which some people had to take to pass their language requirement, and which others took to continue on to third year japanese. It was stressful; my most stressful part was the oral part of the test, which I never do very well on in class anyway, but I passed all four sections, some amazingly well (I got 227 out of 230 on the writing portion, go me!) I had a crazy ass Women's History class spring semester that just busted my ass. I quit going to lecture after a while because it was early in the morning, and it was making me late to my following class, but I ended up with a decent grade anyway. I was gone the day the prof told us that she extended the deadline for our mandatory final draft, so when I came to class to drop it off I found out that I had another week to work on it. That meant less work on the final draft, which was good. Other than that, most of the fun stuff came at the end of the semester. We planned a road trip to the Chicago area for AnimeCentral, an anime convention. Before we left, a bunch of us got together to go see Matrix Reloaded, and that was fun until the theater almost collapsed underneath us (okay, that wasn't happening, but it did make big booming noises and we missed the end of the film). The day after that we left for Chicago, which was fun and all, but so long sitting on your ass is painful. The con was okay... I have to admit I liked Anime Iowa better because it was more intimate, there were more interesting panels, and I seriously don't remember there being such a large amount of dumbasses there. But that fact might be due to my hatred for otaku increasing steadily since the year before. Someone pulled the fire alarm one night and we all gathered in the street outside. I was in my pajamas and a sweatshirt, and it was quite odd.

Summer vacation was very summer-vacationy. I worked at Target like normal, hung out with people, sat at my computer playing games... you know the drill. I went to United Noodles a few times with Eric and Brian, which was always fun, though I often left with more than I'd planned to buy, he he ^_^;

Fall semester was dumpy, for a lot of reasons. For one, I was just too swamped with work and things just set me off all the time. Like, all my classes would have papers due at once, and I'd be flipping out at the last minute finishing them, and that was just some super harmful stress crap. Gotta work on time management this next semester for sure, or at least motivational skills :). I also just fell into that seasonal depression thing that a lot of people get, you know, when you never get to see the sunlight because you wake up when it's still dark and are in class or your job until it's dark again. That sucks every year, but I don't really have a solution to that problem except go outside in between classes, and that's sort of cold and unpleasant this time of year -_-; Oh well. I've already written all about my situation the past month or so, so I don't feel like I need to repeat it here. Maybe if I were still angry, I'd have the energy, but I'm not angry anymore. I came to an understanding a couple of days ago... well, I won't go into much detail, but I realized some stuff about myself that'll really help me in the future, and while that is really good and I'm looking forward to being whole again, I still feel a little sad. Not overwhelmingly so, of course, but I sort of wish I'd gotten 'with it' sooner so that I wouldn't have caused myself so many problems. I hope it's a mark of my late-blooming maturity that I don't hate myself for it at all, he he. In any case, I'm doing well, I'm able to talk more freely about myself and I feel like I've become more honest with myself and others, which is just better for everyone.

So, for me at least, this year ends on a thoughtful note, an optimistic note, and a quiet, singular note of possibility. I can honestly say at this point, that I am better of at this time this year than I was at the same time last year, and I wouldn't have thought that two weeks ago. What an amazing year.

So now, for my list of favorites and overall good things from this year:

Movie: Oh, c'mon, you know what it is already, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. I was so completely moved by this film... to the point that when I think about certain scenes I just tear up so hard core. The story has withstood the test of time of course, but the message that comes across through the film, the value of friendship, trying in spite of hopeless odds, and the sacrifices one must make for the greater good, makes me weep, literally.

Book: Well, I haven't really read many new books this year, truthfully. I read the newest Earth's Children book The Shelters of Stone which was a solid read but didn't really meet my expectations. I guess I would have to say that the book which I anticipated the most and was most satisfied by would be Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Nine hundred something pages, and yet it was still waaay too short. That's just how enthralling it was for me.

Video Game: I didn't have a whole lot of time for games this year, mostly due to school commitments and the like, but I did play a few good ones. I really liked Metroid Prime, both because it was a fun game, and because it was a fun game which retained the spirit and the quality of the original, which I think is really important for a sequel. I also really like Mario Kart: Double Dash, since it's such a fun multiplayer game. But if I had to pick a favorite, I think it would have to be a very recent release, and a game which I haven't even finished yet. Yes, my fave for this year is Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga. Not only does it have very good gameplay, but it's innovative while still retaining the spirit of the Mario Brothers games. And it's so humorous too ^_^

TV show: There are very few TV shows which I ever purposely set aside time to watch, but there are the occasional few. I don't think I can pick a favorite for this year, because I never really committed to one, but there were a few which I wish maybe I'd watched more often. The first is the HBO comedy series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which was created by and stars Larry David, the co-creater of Seinfeld. The show is sort of like an improv-sitcom; they begin with a general concept and story for the show, but pretty much all of the dialogue is improvised, which is generally quite hilarious. I also like pretty much anything on the Food Network :)

I make resolutions for the new year every year, but I'm generally pretty bad at keeping them. This year though, I feel that it's very important for me to make choices that will help me and help me become a better incarnation of myself. I don't have anything very specific I suppose. I just want to be sure that I stay as honest as possible, both with myself and others, because honesty, while sometimes being hurtful, is almost always less hurtful than hiding the truth or glossing over issues. I also hope to keep in mind, during everything that I do, that I am the most important person in my life, always. Even if I go off alone somewhere, away from everyone else, I will always have to live with myself, and so I'd better have a pretty good idea of what I'm about or life's not gonna be too fulfilling. I want to exercise, and this is a bit more concrete. I've been doing DDR sessions almost every day since i got it hooked up at my house, and it helps me feel more awake. I just want to up my endurance and be sure that I look and feel my best all the time, even during the deep dark winter. I want to make significant progress on my story. That means much more than just coming up with a plot, it also means finally solidifying the different incarnations of the characters which have been floating around in my mind for years, and beginning to plot out the concepts for the Dragonian language which I've been mulling over for a quite a while now. Though I'm creative and love writing, this is hard work too, and to finish what I start will be a huge personal victory for me.

Well, I guess that's it for right now, I've got a par-tay to attend, so we'll see how that goes. Happy New Year everyone!

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Well, so I did that thing again where I leave the window open all night instead of just publishing an entry... he he. Well, I guess I'll just tack on the rest of my New Year's post so that I can have a fricking long post for everyone to read because I know you're all really bored out there ^_^

I went to a party at Marni's house for New Year's yesterday, and it was really fun. I guess there was a little controversy though, because there was also a party going on at Abra's, which I didn't hear about until yesterday... she didn't call me though, so I don't consider it my responsibility. I guess if she'd wanted me there, she would have called me up or emailed or something like that. So anyway, there was a competing party, which wouldn't have mattered much, but David had committed to Abra's party, and couldn't stay at Marni's for very long, which made me sad. I kept lobbying for him to go over there and bring her party to ours, making it one large party, but that obviously didn't happen because he never ended up coming back. Too bad, because we had a really great time ^_^

There was lots of good food; Marni asked my advice on what foods to have, and so there was nummy cheese, some fruit and some guacamole (yummy!). The guacamole was soooo goood. I wish I could make it so well. The last time I made some, it was sort of icky because the avocados were a bit overripe, but that's another story for another time. Marni's mom made egg rolls and some little smokeys wrapped in bacon with brown sugar, mmmm, so tasty. Anyway, so we snacked for a while and talked. I had brought a notebook along in case I got any good inspiration for writing (that tends to happen at odd times when I don't have the means to write it down, then by the time I get home to the computer I've forgotten it all). I instead ended up using it to write down funny quotes from the evening, which I will put at the end of this post. Oooh, the anticipation :D

So at some point we decided that the champagne Marni had acquired wasn't enough, so we decided to make a liquor store run to pick up a couple other things. Because when we were at Jenny's house the previous weekend I hadn't paid for any of the drinks, I volunteered this time to be in charge of that. So Brian, Marni and I took a trek to that liquor warehouse on Central Ave and 81st, which was luckily still open. Jenny had mentioned some peaches and cream stuff, and we looked for it but it wasn't there, so we ended up getting some vanilla vodka instead, along with some irish creme. Tasty. So we paid and hauled it back to the house, then we went up to Marni's room and chilled for a while. I forgot to mention that Staci's boyfriend Kevin was over too, and he's a super cool dude. They deserve each other, they're so cute *^_^* And he laughs at my jokes which is always an indicator of a good person, he he ;) Anyway, so we were all upstairs chilling, and then Staci suggested that we watch a tape of the show Friends, which I was all for because it's funny. Marni's boyfriend wasn't into it, but that's too bad because it was two really funny episodes.

Soon it was nearing midnight, so Jenny and I proceeded downstairs to open the champagne. Too bad we didn't realize that it would be such an ordeal. After picking off the foil and untwisting the wire-thingy, we couldn't get the cork to come out. We pulled and pushed, twisted and bit at it. It finally took John picking away at it with his pocketknife to get it open, and by then it was quarter after midnight, sort of anti-climactic. Oh well, the champagne was good. We also mixed vanilla vodka and orange juice, which sounds like ass but was good. Marni made me a white russian, which was also good. By then we were mostly just sitting around the table talking. Marni, John, Staci and Kevin were all upstairs for a while, while Jenny, Brian and I talked, which was okay. I don't really often get a chance to really talk to Jenny seriously, and it was nice to have that time (Brian I talk with seriously a lot, so it wasn't a new thing :P). Then Staci and Kevin wandered back downstairs and we included them too, which was loads of funny. I got lots more quotes after that.

The par-tay started to wind down around 2:30, and I think I left around 3:00, which wasn't so good since I had to work this morning and be up by 6:45 to do it -_-; bad planning on my part, but I got to go home early from work this morning, so that was okay :D Anyway, I had a great time of course, but now I have this 2/3 fully bottle of vanilla vodka and an almost full bottle of Irish creme sitting in a cupboard in my house, which my sister knows about but my mom doesn't. I don't know what she would think -_-; We'll see what happens. Worse comes to worst, I'll end up handing it over to Marni or David, but I don't imagine it'll be a big deal.

So, as I promised, here are the hilarious quotes from the party. I toyed with the idea of classifying them by speaker or subject, but I decided just to keep them in chronological order. Some are funny because they're out of context, and some are just funny on their own, so don't think too hard, just laugh :D. Since David left early from the party, I included a funny quote by him which he said to me over AIM today, so he could be included :) Anyway, here they be:

"Abra kind of reminds me of my grandma." - Jenny

"I'm not used to boys!" - Marni

"My Luigi is very shapely." - Jessi

"I didn't have any friends, I just had Brian." - Marni

"I am a gay man." - Marni

"It doesn't feel as good when I do it to myself." - Jessi

"There will be no glee here!" - Marni

"Where have my breasts gone?!" - Jessi

"Help! I'm drowning in my breasts!" - Marni

"Yeah, they drip" - Jessi
"It's all juicy!" - Marni

"So ladies, come blow me!" - Jessi

"It's just Friday nights, and an occasional Tuesday." - Jenny

"I'm poking the cheese." - Jessi
"Quit poking the cheese!" - Marni

"Squirrel Adam makes sandals out of duct tape." - Jenny

"Don't you wanna stick your finger in the cheese hole?" - Marni

"So it's like a dreamland... Kirby's Dreamland!" - Jessi

"What was the purpose of the story, Jenny?"
"The condom! He has to put the condom on the dildo!" - Marni and Jenny

"Father Gary, we think he's gay, he kind of looks like Willy Wonka." - Jenny

"Squirrel Adam wears a skirt often, now that I think of it." - Jenny

"Vanilla is my extract of choice" - Jenny
"Well, cheeez is my artificial flavor of choice. Spelled with three 'e's and a 'z'" - Marni

"When you can't taste the alcohol, you know it's a good drink." - Jenny

"I'm just thinking about sex on the beach." - Jenny

"You look like a big leather tube!" - Marni

"I'm sucking on the cheese!" - Jessi

"I have more clothes in my car, what do I care?" - Jenny

"Why are you fingering the cheese?" - John

"David has these weird obsessions with these guys..." - Jenny

"That kid smelled like feet, and you know how much I hate feet!" - Staci

"Why are you sucking on the cherry?" - Staci

"Heaven forbid the dildo get dirty!" - Kevin

"He doesn't have a box, he's a guy!" - Jessi

"Damn it, what's the point of pining over a guy who sucks ass?" - David

Alright folks, hope you enjoyed, that's all for right now, so I'll talk to you all later. Happy New Year!

:: Jessi 1/01/2004 07:38:00 PM [+] ::
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